THE REAL TUCK RULE

GUYS GUYS GUYS

PLEASE DON’T TUCK YOUR SHIRTS INTO JEANS UNLESS YOU HAVE A GIANORMOUS BATTLESHIP, OTHERWISE YOU’LL LOOK LIKE THESE DBAGS.

HYDE-D

PHOTO OF THE DAY

I’M GIVING AWAY GENERAL ADMISION TICKETS TO THE BLINK 182 CONCERT IN A CITY OF YOUR CHOICE (MUST BE AT LEAST ONE WEEK AWAY) FOR THE BEST QUOTE DESCRIBING THIS PICTURE.  EMAIL ME AT HYDEDMONTAGE@GMAIL.COM. 

GOOD LUCK,

HYDE-D

FAT GIRLS GIVE BETTER _ _ _ _ THAN SKINNY GIRLS

HydeD-Have you ever noticed or heard stories about how bigger girls are better aT sucking battleship?  I have decided to donate my body to science and have been with 5 larger (not huge) girls in the past 2 months.  I got them to all go down on me and100% fact they are amazing at oral; they let the entire package feel loved and coat it in saliva.  3 out of the 5 took down my mayo without batting an eye, one went on the face and the other on her really creepy real boobs.  I just wanted to let the OnBlast Gang know that big girls can be fun too.

YOU’RE A F*CKING IDIOT, I WOULD NEVER LET A “LARGER” GIRL GO DOWN ON ME (BECAUSE I’M REALLY GOOD LOOKING AND I’M SUPER FUNNY) BUT WEIGHT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.  BJ’S ARE ALL ABOUT GAG RELEX AND SPIT RATIO, BEST HEAD OF MY LIFE CAME FROM A GIRL THAT SCALED IN AROUND 103 POUNDS 25% OF WHICH WHERE IN HER PLAX RACK.

HYDE-D

THIS SHOULD HELP WITH THE HAND JOBS

TIGHT………………………

HYDE-D

I DIDN’T KNOW BUGS COULD GET AIDS

HydeD-This is Michelle Harvey a almost 40 year old living the Hollywood dream kind of………I think she’d be a great addition to the ONblast-famous family.  She’s always out trying to take down dudes for blow and loves to snack on upper 20 year old’s with a little swagger or change in their purse.  I’d give the chances of Aids or Hep C with this girl about 2 to 1 and ask any of you that might think about getting down with Michelle to please wrap it up, I know for a fact that she’s been with a couple dudes that use needles (and I’m not talking about that place on the way to Vegas).

SHE’S THE G*DDAMNN PREYING MANTIS AND MY FRIEND IS GIVING ME A 99% THAT HE’S SEEN HER WORKING FOR AN L.A. ESCORT SERVICE UNDER THE NAME NIKKI.

HYDE-D

FORBIDDEN HAS GONE TO POOP

FORBBIDEN HAS UPLOADED A NICE LITTLE PICTURE TO TWITTER OF HER AND THE 6 INCH PEPPERONI PLAX RACK BUCKLING UP FOR SAFTEY.  IF I WERE A NORMAL GUY I’D BE FIXATED ON HER DECENTLY DONE DD PLAXY RACKY BUT MY EYE’S ARE PULLED AWAY BY HER ARM PIT FAT……………………….YUCK YUCKY YUCK OH MY GOD YUCKY YUCK…YUCK YUCK…..GROSS YUCK.  THEY LOOK LIKE ARM PUSSIES AND I JUST DON’T THINK I COULD BE INTIMATE WITH HER ANYMORE.

HYDE-D

DEL MAR HORSE RACES BRING OUT LEATHER CHEST

HydeD-Take a look at this Cougar from the Del Mar Horse Track this past weekend, I was afraid to get too close her face looked like it was going to crack off.  What the f is up with this chicks getting so much plastic surgery, I can’t even imagine would her vagggine feels like.

ANSWER:

YOU GUESSED IT………………….A WET PAPER BAG.

HYDE-D

LADY GAGA LOOKS EVEN WORSE AFTER A FEW VODKA TONICS

HydeD-I went with my little sisters to the Lady Gaga concert, we ended up getting back stage and taking a few pictures with her.  She smelled like Woody’s apron from Cheers but I think I’d still let her ride my disco stick.  Would you Hit it or Quit it, celebrity edition?

NO EVEN A MILLION BUCKEROO’S WOULD GET MY BATTLESHIP HARD FOR LADY GAGA AND HER MAGICAL HULK HOGAN STOMACH. 

HYDE-D

HYDE D MONTAGE SHOWS YOU WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE

NOTICE THESE REALLY NICE GIRLS HANGING OUT AT THE POOL, ENJOYING A COUPLE COLD BEERS CAN YOU FIND WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

THERE ARE FOUR THINGS THAT NEED TO BE CHANGED TO MAKE THIS PHOTO ON BLAST PROOF CAN YOU FIND ALL FOUR??????????

1.SKULL BIKINI GIRL HAS TWO DIFFERNT BOOBS…….OH YUCKY!!!!!!

2.SKULL BIKINI AND HEATH LEDGER IN THE CENTER NEED TO COVER UP THEIR LUMP GUTS………YUCKY CITY!!

3.HEATH LEDGER SHOULD HAVE C*M ALL OVER HER CHEST AND FACE BECAUSE SHE DOES HAVE A DECENT PLAX RACK………….YAY PROTEIN PARTY!!!

4.FLAT CHESTED DUMB HAT GIRL SHOULD JUST BE SHOT IN THE HEAD…………SHE’S POINTLESS.

HYDE-D

GUESS WHO…..

HydeD-Guess who’s Chinese winking butt this is……………………….

yep it’s dumb f*ck stupid retard b*tch face whole Tara Reid and her botched plax racked body.  She is everything I hate about girls all smushed up into one little train wrecked package.

TARA RIED GAVE ME A SPIT COVERED HJ LIKE 3 YEARS AGO BUT I WAS TOO DRUNK TO FINISH.  I GIVE HER A 7.5 FOR EFFORT BUT A 7TH GRADE 3.5 FOR TECHNIQUE.

HYDE-D